Visit from family going quite well, all things considered

Well, I've been entertaining the family for two days so far and it's going pretty well. First off, I was able to give them the free Dublin passes that I got in exchange for writing this blog. This made me look very generous, which was good. Then in a fit of enthusiasm I actually splashed out by myself on theatre tickets for me and my sister. We went to the Gate.
It would have been better if something Irish had been on as this was Sis's first visit to Ireland but we saw a good production of All My Sons by Arthur Miller instead. As she lives in a soulless suburb, she doesn't get out a whole lot and she really enjoyed it. We went for a Guinness afterwards and got back late to the hotel where the brother in law was not impressed, despite the fact that his lovely Mom had been taking care of the kids all evening.
He is such a jerk.
Anyway, I exerted my efforts and found a way to entertain my brother in law and get rid of him and the rug rats at the same time. I sent him to the "GAA Museum." That's the "Gaelic Athletic Museum" dedicated to all things to do with Ireland's indigenous sports. He was kinda dubious at first, but he agreed to go and take the boys, while muttering something under his breath about "pansy sports".
This is the guy who has a signed photo of Wayne Gretsky , ace ice hockey player, up over the fireplace instead of his wedding photo. I kid you not. Amazingly, assface LIKED the museum and he even said that it "wasn't their fault they didn't have ice and had to do it on the grass. "Note to the GAA. How about a promotional t-shirt: "Hurley players do it on the grass"? All the North Americans would buy totally buy it.
So that was good. And then Bepe, bless his heart, offered to take them all up to Phoenix Park to play with his remote control airplane. He really is my very own hairy angel. (That's what I've been calling him since he grew sideburns.)
That left me, Sis, and grandma-in-law free. I thought Grandma could do with some time out so persauded Sis to take her for High Tea in the Shelbourne on the recommendation of my new BGF. Expensive but very Lady Chatterly's Lover.
Now they've gone down to Wexford to see if they can find the hut that assfaces great-great grandparents emigrated from, leaving me with five days to relax until they get back. Before they left, Sis pulled me aside and said, "So what are you going to do about Bepe?"
I'm like: "What do you mean?" and she goes, "Well, he is so totally into you. It's so obvious!"
So I told her, "But he has a girlfriend?" and she said, "Oh yeah? Seen her recently?"
Well, it's true. I haven't seen her recently. The skinny cow.
Anyway, that girl I met in the library? She is really cool. We went out for a drink and I found out that she also has the biggest crush on "George" the librarian at the National Library. We love him! We are his biggest secret fan club! We are having a race to see who gets to talk to him first. I told her my fantasy about taking off his glasses and ruffling his hair and saying, "But George...you are beautiful," and she said, "No WAY, I have exactly the same fantasy!" Ha, we'll be stalking him next. George, if you are reading this, with your glasses down at the end of your nose and your subtle but devastating charm... save a smile for the tall Newfoundland girl pining at her desk, OK?
Anyway, Saoirse (as we'll call her here) is actually a biology MSc student specialising in snake venom! How cool is that! Especially as I'm studying Bram Stoker and stuff, making me an expert in, uh, vampire venom! We are going out tonight. She's taking me to "Dublin's Only Goth Club", the Dominion, and she'll come and stay over on the sofa at my place so I'll get to show her to Bepe.